Oh my God. I haven't written anything in such a long time. To be honest, I'd even forgotten that I had a blog until last December when I chatted to a stranger at a gathering, who startled me by telling me how she really enjoyed reading my blogs. I honestly thought my dad is the only one who reads my blogs. Meredith, if you’re reading this, thank you for reminder me I have a blog to attend to, lol!
So what happened since December?? Well, I’ve been putting off writing ever since that day because we all know a little procrastination goes a long way ;-) !
But here we are...
Look, I don’t have a ‘bloggy’ topic atm, so just consider this a letter from me to you, written in my jogging pants on the couch on a Sunday evening. In fact, I may even continue with the format, since I do like the informality of it.
So, what’s been cooking?
Since July (my last post), I completed 4 more courses which I’ve listed below (by now you must know I’m an education junkie, always enrolled in a training, masterclass or mentorship, I LOVE IT), I travelled to The Netherlands and to the UK, I partook in 3 ayahuasca* ceremonies, I healed the relationship with my mom**, and — after 4 years of living nomadically in my van — I exchanged my 4 wheels for an apartment in a white-washed town called Conil de la Frontera in Southern Spain on the wild Atlantic coast where I will be living indefinitely! WHOA.
16 hr Lomi Lomi Samudra Massage (with Caroline Hoekendijk @Wellness Academie, The Netherlands)
35 hr Trauma-Informed Yoga & Movement CPD (with Ashley MacDonald @Barefoot Body Training, UK)
8 hr Reiki Training Level 1 (with Raymond Besems-Fagoe @Anand Opleidingen, The Netherlands)
45 hr The Healing Voice (with Jacomina Kistemaker @Centro Punta de Couso, Spain)
2023 was a tumultuous year for me, so over the summer I told myself that when I moved to Conil in October I’d just take it easy for a few months, not take on anything new and just chill out a bit while acclimatizing to my new environment and lifestyle. Well, that phase lasted for about a week because by December I’d signed up 5 courses (listed below).
6 mnth Plant Medicine Mentorship (with Michela Leoni and Patrick Fassiotti @Anam Casa Medicina, Spain)
6 mnth High-frequency Singing for Trauma Healing (with Yvonne de Bruijn @Pansori Living Sound, online)
6 mnth Personal Branding on Instagram Mentorship (with Maribel Franchescaa @ConfidentlyWomen, online)
6 mnth Design Online Courses Training (with Celine Charlotte @C.academy, online)
16 hr Dynamic Thai Massage & Osteothai (with Bojan Babic @Yogamoves, The Netherlands)
So yup this gal is hella busy and hella happy! The plan is to launch an online business this year, creating online content for women who feel like something vital is missing in their life despite ‘checking all the boxes’. Something they can’t quite put their finger on, but is experienced as puzzle pieces not quite fitting, feeling stuck, a nagging feeling or intuition like they are living a life that doesn't quite resonate with their true self. God knows I’ve lived like this for many years, so I know what I’m talking about.
My offering will consist of mindset & strategy on-demand courses, as well as live mentoring, and eventually (in person) psychedelic-assisted sessions too. All addressing the silent and often shame-ridden struggles of modern women. My mission is to guide them through a journey of introspection and growth, helping them to break free from negative patterns and step into their full potential. In other words: help them stop merely existing and start thriving. You know the saying “you can’t have it all”?
Well, I say to hell with that, you CAN have it all. But...
The problem is, there is so much noise from our hustle society and our own conditioned minds these days, it's hard to even have clarity on what you want. For example, so many women are looking for the right man, thinking that’s the thing that’s missing in their life. In reality, what’s often lacking is not a man but perhaps…a sense of safety in their own skin. A sense of worthiness. A sense of feeling complete. Sure, a partner can be a surrogate for those issues for a while…until he can’t. And now she's back not at square 1 but at MINUS 1, because now not only does she have that sense of lack nagging at her, but a dysfunctional relationship too because she wants something the poor guy cannot give her—because only she can give herself that.
And the same thing applies to careers, family dynamics, relationship to oneself, body image etcetera. This is only 1 small example, but so many people are wondering around London with a map of Barcelona so to speak, in all different areas of their lives, wondering why the fuck they can’t find their way. Wondering why the puzzle pieces don’t fit when they are trying so damn hard and doing everything society told them to do. I’m here to stop telling these women to ‘settle’, I don’t care how pretty the picture is on the carton box, if the puzzle pieces don’t fit, it’s an ugly puzzle. Again...God knows I’ve lived like this for many years, so I know what I’m talking about.
I almost settled for a really great 10/10 great guy in my thirties. We were together for 6 years, but I realized that he wasn’t my guy. So I finally let him go 5 years ago, when I could no longer stand the stomach churning sense that something was off. All too often, we think we need to gain something to get ahead in life. Do more, have more, be more. How often is it exactly the opposite that is needed? To let go, release, make space for the unknown? To let our bowls be empty and just see what happens?
I’ve been thinking to start a scalable online business for a long time to create a (semi)passive income, but was waiting for the right moment and the right product/service to offer. Four years ago I was too confused myself to even be thinking about starting a personal brand and mentoring others (ha!) and since then my life has been too all over the place with all the traveling and pivoting to have the mind space to think big and strategize a game plan.
Now I really feel it’s time to step up my game. It is TIME.
I’ve done so much personal development work over the past 20 years and have benefitted from so many different methods and practices, it’s time to start pouring from my cup into cups of others. Also, to my surprise, turning 40 last summer hit me like a hammer. Urgency kicked in. Life is so short. Our time is so valuable. I've always said I rather regret things that I've done, than regret things that I haven't done. Now at 40 it's time to go all out. And I mean all out. Take those risks, follow my heart, follow my gut, utilize that self-trust that I've built. Because if I'm perfectly honest, I've been holding back. Playing small.
All my life I’ve been the butterfly girl saying “I’m young, I still have my entire life in front of me!” sniffing this flower before fluttering on to the next. And while it’s certainly been a colorful life so far, filled with lots of growth, meaningful experiences, accomplishments and off-the-beaten-track choices, there’s also been a lack of consistency. I’m talking about the type of consistency that leads to making an impact. To make an impact. And to make impact you need consistency. I read a quote the other day that really hit home:
“Success isn’t that difficult; it merely involves taking twenty steps in a singular direction. Most people take one step in twenty directions.”
— Benjamin Hardy
Uh, how do you know me so well, Mr. Hardy?
Of course, I will keep going with massage, sound journeys, yoga and retreats too, but this year the online biz really has my focus. My next group retreat will probably be in January 2025, on the same topics as mentioned above. I do also have my custom Mystic Tides private retreat offering available, which runs till the end of May (more info on that here) so let me know if you want to hang out with me in Conil for that.
All the courses I did last year, plus the ones I’m currently doing or am enrolled in, sum up to a total of over €12.500. You may think that’s a lot or a little; but to me, these are not expenses but investments. And self-investment is always money well-spent. I put my money where my mouth is when it comes to self-development and investing in myself. I practice what I preach. I truly believe I am the best project I’ll ever work on, and I believe that principle goes for everyone. If you want to go places, make a difference, and live your best life, you better be sure you are driving the best vehicle possible and that that vehicle is in top-notch condition and is tweaked for exactly the destinations you want to go. That vehicle is your mind, your body, your spirit.
That’s it folks! Take care, and why not hit the reply button? Would love to hear from you!
*blog post on that soon