2025 UNHINGED: Why nothing feels stable (and why that’s actually the upgrade)

Does anybody feel like 2025 was their most unhinged year ever?

Honestly, I’ve never felt so bewildered and kicked out of orbit as this year. I feel like everything is shaking on its foundations, both on a personal level as a collective. I want to get in to both. While I love getting personal in my blog (or is it more a public journal?), listing my 2025 woes feels a little too self-indulgent, but I will say that all the main pillars that usually contribute to a feeling of safety and contentment were/are super unsteady. Some in lesser degree than others, but all enough to have been carrying an anxious knot in my gut for months. And I’m hardly the anxious type if you know me personally!

So… now it’s October and while my health (the most important pillar!) is back on track, I’m newly single once again, still looking for a fixed place to live and figuring out what to do with in terms of work and income. Every time I open LinkedIn looking for jobs that fit my profile, my spirit recoils. If you only know me as someone working in the holistic scene, let me tell you now that have a parallel life of working in publishing well over 15 years. While this remote freelance work is convenient geographically and financially, and I’m good at it, it isn't fulfilling and it’s lonely. I’d love to 100% dedicate myself to my offline work which is offering holistic 1:1 therapies, group classes and events. It would be the most aligned thing to do. I feel like I’m called to step into this new identity, but it feels so a big leap.

Overall 2025 so far has been a year of ‘everything is unstable, I can’t find ground, nothing feels like it used to’ energy. Looking back, it has been like an identity deconstruction phase. And I’m finding that the version of me that used to function in the old life conditions (aka work an unaligned online job just for the money) can’t run the software any more. Maybe that’s why I feel unhinged — there’s nothing stable to be hinged to.

So that was the personal part. Now we get to the collective piece, from a cosmic POV. I just felt that there must be a greater force at play with all the shit that has been hitting the fan in my personal life and, far more importantly, on a global scale. So, I did some research. Or should I say some girl research? ;-) Whether you believe in astrology or not, tell me what you’re about to read is inaccurate, and I’ll buy you a drink.

Friends, apparently, this year Pluto moved into Aquarius for the long haul, causing a collective identity uprooting. Aquarius stands for autonomy, truth, authenticity, personal sovereignty. Pluto stands for death, dismantling, psychological excavation.So when these two collide, we get old identities, coping mechanisms, illusions, and survival roles being dismantled at the root.

People who have lived out of adaptation rather than essence are freaking the fuck out internally because their “identity scaffolding” is dissolving. What do I mean with ‘adaptation’? Essentially, it means that your choices are reflecting your fears, rather than your hopes (loosely quoting Mandela here). 

A personal example for what the adaptation strategy might look like: all throughout my twenties, my profile on the dating apps did not honestly reflect who I was and what I was looking for. I played the cool ‘whatever’ girl, out for some fun and banter. This was adaptation because I thought that’s what men wanted. And you know what? A part of me (the louder part) wanted that too. Not because it would make me happy, but because it would be the safer option. And so of course that’s the type of men I attracted. I was not sending out a signal from my essence. I wasn’t aware of this at the time, but the reason I did this was because living from your essence means being authentic and vulnerable. And sometimes we prefer to be hurt and rejected based on the facade we present to the world, rather than based on who we truly are inside. Because that can feel like total annihilation.

OK, on we go, what else do we have going on in outer space? Well, there’s the nodal axis in Aries–Libra (affecting self vs. others). This is shaking up all the human to human relational stuff like: boundaries, identity, codependency vs sovereignty, choosing self vs choosing harmony.

This Aries–Libra cycle is forcing people to stop outsourcing their sense of self. Result: you feel groundless until the “new self” is formed internally instead of relationally. What does this mean: outsourcing ones sense of self? A personal example: historically, I’ve always had a very externalized sense of self, meaning that I related to myself through the eyes of others. I imagined what other people were thinking of me, and that then informed my beliefs and judgement about myself. Mind you, this happened on a subconscious level because on the outside (as my old dating profile bio revealed) I appeared very self-secure.

But there’s more! We also have Saturn in Pisces causing fog and dissolution of structure.

This one adds the “I can’t see the path anymore” feeling. It’s where all your cleverly set out spiritual practises, one-liners and NLP-based reframing tricks fall apart. There’s a spiritual up-levelling, but first it’s like: “Congrats: none of your old strategies will work. Swim.”

Look, I’m not implying that ‘strategies’ like meditation, yoga, NLP, the power of now-esque approaches don’t work. I have stacks of self-help books on my shelf. But more often than not, it’s not about what you do, but how you do it. For example, if I’m sitting down in meditation to get rid of anxiety, guess what I end up having? More anxiety. The problem, like the Buddha so pointedly laid out, is our Desire. The wanting, the craving and longing. It’s pure ego. In the spiritual sense, what frees us is Truth, not our efforts to be free. Truth is found in surrendering, letting go. Letting go as the inevitable exhale, not as a strategy. When we are at wits end. And when it happens, it doesn’t feel like annihilation like the ego thinks, and therefore so vehemently resists. It feels like grace and liberation. And isn't it this sense of liberation that behind all of our pursuits?

Anyway, I digress. Coming back to Saturn in Pisces: This particular transit hits hardest for the group of people whose work is an extension of their identity like therapists, facilitators, healers, teachers. Basically anyone who’s selling their persona, not just their skillset, to an audience. In this line of work, misalignment shows up immediately: you can only take clients as deep as you’ve gone yourself. People don’t just hire your method — they’re hiring YOU.

In other professions, your performance isn’t tethered to your spiritual or emotional state in the same way. You can be a brilliant accountant or barista or UX designer without having tackled your trauma’s.

I am NOT implying that the people in those jobs less evolved (there are spiritual bypassers and unintegrated messes inside the healing world too!) — it just means their identity is not ‘on the menu.’ And so the consequences land differently. However, for the first group: the gold they have to offer is built around hard-earned trial and tribulations in the personal arena. Bottom line is: You gotta walk the talk, baby. If there’s even 5% of “performing” or “pleasing” or “shaping yourself for others,” Pluto will burn it down. Potential clients will (subconsciously) sense your inauthenticity and even if they don’t, I can say from personal experience, your lack of integrity will eat you up from the inside in the form of imposter syndrome, negative self-talk, shame and what not. This is not meant as a punishment, though; it’s recalibration to truth. And as we already saw, it’s truth that liberates.

I used to think astrologers believe that the planets rule our fate. And so I took it all with a pinch of salt because I am a big believer in personal agency. But I found out (quite recently, actually) that astrology doesn’t cause all this, aka we are not at the mercy of cosmic puppeteering, astrology merely mirrors the cycle of archetypal shifts. Astrology is synchronicity, not causation. 

What I’m slowly (re)learning is that “grounding” isn’t something life gives you — it’s something you build internally through truth, nervous system safety, and self-contact. Of course, people, places and things can help stabilize, but fundamentally the external world is wobbling because it’s no longer meant to be the anchor. The anchor has to become you.

And if you’re in this same dismantling phase — where the old scaffolding has collapsed and the new self hasn’t fully arrived yet — you don’t have to white-knuckle it alone. This is exactly the terrain where somatic parts work becomes a lifeline: it helps you meet the scared parts instead of abandoning them, and it helps the body learn safety from the inside out instead of acting out with various protective coping mechanisms.

If this resonates, and you want support in navigating your own re-rooting, you can find more about my somatic parts work approach here.